I went to visit one of our church members yesterday who has been living at Lexington Extended Care for the past nine years. He didn’t appear to be very old – probably in his late-50s or early 60s. He has two grown daughters and five grandchildren. From pictures I saw in frames around the room, they seem to really love their dad and granddad. He couldn’t speak very loudly, so I spent most of my visit close to him and his wheelchair, almost touching my ear to his face. But, I introduced myself and we started our conversation right away. I asked about his family and he shared what his girls do for a living and how blessed he is with two wonderful sons-in-law. I asked about his wife and he told me that he was divorced. Oops – way to go, Jerry. I did not get from him if the divorce came before or after his accident that had him at Extended Care, but I knew that it hurt. He told me, “Time has been healing the wound.” That was an undetstatement. Only his body is broken. His mind is sound. Can you imagine how confined he feels?
Well, I asked if his daughters visit him often. He said, “yes, but not enough.” Isn’t that how it is? “Yes, but not enough”? Tears began to well-up in his eyes. I knew that I had triggered something in him. He told me about dreams he’d had over and over, remembering the mistakes of his past, reliving those poor choices. He was referring to the situation with his ex-wife. I had to tell him to hang on to what was good in that situation. He had two beautiful daughters who love him very much and five terrific grandkids. I wasn’t going to be able to reconcile his divorce with him in the short amount of time I spent with him yesterday, but I pray that life looked a little less dim by the end of our visit.
However, I have to go back to what he said when it came to his girls visiting him: “Yes, but not enough.” If only he knew how much he ministered to me yesterday. I shared with him that I often feel like a heel of a son because I don’t visit my mom enough. He probably sees his daughters a couple of times a week. If he saw them a couple of times a month, he’s doing better than my mom!
We need these kinds of reminders in our lives. I need to remember that my mom probably thinks to herself, “I just don’t see my boys enough.” Its time to turn over a new leaf. I’m not going to go crazy and call everyday, but I do promise to do better. I’ll start tonight. Won’t you?
Blessings!
